Divorce is the worst thing that could take place between a couple and nobody wants to experience the mental and physical stress of going through it. Although couples should try their best to compromise and live together happily for the sake of their children when compatibility becomes a genuine issue, couples only have one way to separate and that is filing for divorce. If your spouse has filed for a divorce and you receive them in the mail as well, you should not panic. Below are some tips that will help you keep your composure and respond to the divorce papers the right way. If you haven’t already hired a divorce lawyer, then you should approach one now.
Keep Yourself Calm
In most cases, when a spouse receives divorce papers, they experience a mix of emotions. From being angry to heartbroken, things can easily turn extremely dark. Some people tend to panic and start to shake due to what is about to come next.
This should not be the situation in your case even if you have kids. The first thing you need to do when you receive the divorce papers is sit back, relax, and take a deep breath. Go over the papers and try to understand the information mentioned. Some people also tend to ignore what is written in the papers, which could go against them in court.
So, you should also immediately hire a lawyer who will run a case in favor of you. It is only right because you might be mentally occupied by a lot of other things. So, the last thing you would want is your significant other taking custody of your only kid or children. So, keep yourself calm and try to focus on one thing at a time.
Talk To The Children
If you have children with you, you will need to tell your kids about the divorce as well. You might have seen parents keeping their kids away from such situations. While it may be the right situation in some scenarios, they should hear from you rather than from someone else.
Keep in mind that children will not understand what divorce is in the beginning. But, you will have to be patient. Children think from the heart and not the mind. So, they are bound to be more emotional at this stage when they learn they are not going to be able to spend much time with both parents.
And, you should also understand that it is as burdening for you as it is for them with the exception that you are able to tackle it. So, talk to them and do not become irritated or angry. Take your time and you go through it.
Don’t Ignore The Divorce Papers
If you are for some reason ignoring the divorce papers or waiting for a lawyer to reply, your spouse might be able to get away with the things he/she has demanded in the papers. The reason is that you will have to respond within the given time frame.
Even if you plan on representing yourself, you should still share the document with an experienced lawyer to make sure you are not giving up certain rights or interests. If you come across a disagreement with something in the divorce papers, you will file a response to that in court.
Do You Need To Request The Court To Order Something Right Away
Apart from filling out the form for regular response to a divorce, you can also request the court to order something quickly instead of waiting for the divorce to be final. It’s called requesting a temporary order.
You can request a temporary order for things like who stays in the house, who lives with the children, who pays the bills. These orders usually last till the divorce is final. After that, whatever the court decides in the final ruling is followed.
You Should Respond Within 20 Calendar Days
As mentioned previously, once you have received the divorce papers, you are going to have 20 consecutive days and not business days to respond. This time frame is implemented to ensure the spouse does not voluntarily delay the proceedings.
Now, if you saw this coming, you may have hired a family attorney Fairfax VA to begin with. But, if it is unexpected, you should hire a lawyer immediately and respond within the given time frame. You might think that 20 days is a bit less for responding but if you deal with it smartly, you will get it done with the help of a lawyer. Or, if you are busy for some reason, you should let the lawyer handle the papers and respond on your behalf.
Don’t Turn Kids Against Your Spouse
If you have unexpectedly received the divorce papers in the mail, it is only right that you will be angry and frustrated. In most cases, the parent tends to brainwash their kids against the other. But, then again, you cannot do this with your kid or kids.
The reason is that no matter how difficult things appear, you will need to keep yourself grounded and let your children decide when the court asks them later on. But, if you were to brainwash your kids, the court might observe that and it will go against you.
Instead, you should focus only on the positives and ensure the kids do not hate you as a couple because you will still be co-parenting your children. You need to make them realize that whatever is being done is best in their favor.
Serve Your Partner With A Copy
If you have filed a response in court, you will need to serve your customer with a copy of the response as well as the court will not do it for you. Keep in mind that not following this step may hold the court against you. So, if you have hired a lawyer, they will serve the copy via the right channel.
Then, you will also complete a Certificate of Service Form and submit it to the court to verify you have completed this step.
Do Not Try To Manipulate The Documents
No matter how much we stress it, when it comes to a divorce, things are supposed to go South and there is nothing much you can do about it. In some cases, couples try to manipulate the documents thinking they will get away with it. But, if the court happens to find the manipulation, it could lead to a serious situation.
So, do not exercise manipulation with your lawyer, and keep everything clear and transparent. This way, you have a lot better chance of winning the case rather than forcing things in your favor. Plus, if your kids found out that you manipulated the documents even if it was for their betterment, they might hold it against you in the future.
Conclusion
When it comes to receiving and responding to divorce papers, you should always take your time and think thoroughly. Do not act in a hurry and decide without consulting your lawyer. Make sure that you specifically hire an experienced divorce attorney Fairfax VA who is going to negotiate the best deal for you and understands the nature of the case.
